i went to the long beach aquarium the other day. the shark tank is my favorite part. i think this baby was pretty stoked on it too.

my heart is broken.

i love that dog more than life itself. she was an extension of me.

lacey/lacina/laceroo/my sweet girl, i miss you so much. i'm glad i was there for your final moment. it was so hard and i hope i made it easier for you.

my beautiful wonderful sweet and slightly crazy dog is being put to sleep tomorrow. my parents took her to the vet today and they found a giant tumor blocking off her urethra, making her unable to urinate. her bladder was filling up and if they didn't find that out, it probably would have exploded and she would have died at home, very painfully.

this feels like a bad dream.

tonight's her last night.

this dog has been with me since i was nine. i can't.

she's so fucking wonderful and my heart is absolutely shattered and i don't know how to cope with this.

i don't understand why i wear the same like five tshirts and two pairs of jeans but have SO MUCH CLOTHING.

i'm packing up my dorm now to get ready for putting shit in storage on friday and i have a box dedicated to scarves. SCARVES. what the fuck.

i'm so not prepared to go home in a week.

like i'm definitely excited and everything but

HOLY

FUCKING

SHIT.

this year's over.

i'm a senior.

GROSS.

i really really really love dear you by jawbreaker so fucking much because it reminds me of my senior year of high school. it's kind of bittersweet, though, because every time it plays, i get this feeling in the pit of my stomach about how wonderful it was for those like 5 days i had, home alone, for the only time ever. they were probably the most high school days of my life, minus the fact that nils was being an idiot and wouldn't come hang out with me.

i played beer pong, got grounded for like a month, danced around my house naked, and had this album on repeat the entire time. people came over and we just hung out, i baked food, and it was a really genuinely awesome time. i can't wait to live on my own. it'll be like that but with more stress and also jobs and such.

you know what? fuck it. i really fucking miss high school.

i have to write 15 pages in 8 hours.

i can do this. I CAN DO THIS.