i'm so not prepared to go home in a week.

like i'm definitely excited and everything but

HOLY

FUCKING

SHIT.

this year's over.

i'm a senior.

GROSS.

i really really really love dear you by jawbreaker so fucking much because it reminds me of my senior year of high school. it's kind of bittersweet, though, because every time it plays, i get this feeling in the pit of my stomach about how wonderful it was for those like 5 days i had, home alone, for the only time ever. they were probably the most high school days of my life, minus the fact that nils was being an idiot and wouldn't come hang out with me.

i played beer pong, got grounded for like a month, danced around my house naked, and had this album on repeat the entire time. people came over and we just hung out, i baked food, and it was a really genuinely awesome time. i can't wait to live on my own. it'll be like that but with more stress and also jobs and such.

you know what? fuck it. i really fucking miss high school.

i have to write 15 pages in 8 hours.

i can do this. I CAN DO THIS.

My mom sent me this picture she recently scanned of the whole family on Easter. That is my sister on the left, age 9, always ready for a photo opportunity and looking all put together, and me on the right, age 5, being SUPER into my candy and closing my eyes and ruining (or making cuter, your call) our beautiful family portrait. At least my ankles are crossed like a true lady.

I'm really glad my mom sent me these. I'm seriously so blessed to have a family like mine. Obviously everything isn't perfect, because it never is, and there have been some pretty crazy ups and downs, but even as I grow up I know I always have all of them to support me...especially because I'm the youngest, so I feel like I get such a huge support system from everyone in the family. It's a pretty sweet deal, and I'm now kind of getting bummed I wasn't able to celebrate with them, even if I'm not a big fan of the whole Catholic side to it.

i've finally reached a point when i'm not unbearably homesick

although now i'm home in like a month

whatevz

TODAY IS THE DAY I START ACTIVELY TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT.

AND PUT MORE EFFORT INTO MY APPEARANCE.

AND GET ON A NORMAL SLEEP SCHEDULE.

AND STOP BEING A SLOB.

AND PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE WORK I HAVE TO DO IN MY CLASSES.

...that is all

it's really disheartening to see snow on the ground at the end of march.

also disheartening is the fact that i have virtually nothing to put on my resumé. fuck.